I spoke too soon. After posting that life back at work was surprisingly good, I had the worst week ever! Last week was my first full week back. It was also the first week I dropped Ella off with the babysitter. I cried everyday. It was awful. I couldn't believe all of the emotions I felt. On Thursday after school I was a wreck. I just couldn't stop crying. I finally ended up talking to my older sister Erin. She has 3 kids and works full time as a professor at BYU (impressive, I know). She has always worked so I knew she would be empathetic. It was really therapuetic to just sob and tell her how I was feeling because she was so understanding. I knew working after having a baby would be hard, but I had no idea. Don't get me wrong, I have the BEST babysitter in the world. The Madsens are an incredible family and I feel so blessed to have them watching Ella. I honestly couldn't imagine a better home for her to be in while I'm gone. It is just hard to leave her. There is so much adjusting at this point in my life. I know it will all get better because I will figure it out and get used to my new roles, but it will probably take awhile.
Last week Alysha and I also found out that we won't be able to do a job share. We were both really bummed, but we talked today and think we know what we'll do. I can't work full time. I am already struggling being away from Ella 4 hours a day. I also know that Jessica is the best person to watch Ella. They already love each other! Ella is in such good hands over at the Madsens. I trust them like they are my own family. The only way for me to stay at Meadow is to be the PE teacher. At first I was only interested in this because it would enable me to work part time at Meadow. Now after thinking about it I really think it will be a great job. Here are some of the pros (yes, I made a list when I was trying to decide what to do):
- I get to work part time (9-2 Tuesday through Friday)
- Ella will spend Mondays with me and Fridays with her daddy
- I will be working with all the students at the school
- Ella will be watched in the best possible situation
- I LOVED teaching PE to the first graders before that was a specialty
- Students love PE
- I get to wear sweats to work everyday
- Planning will be TONS easier
- I am only teaching one subject
- No report cards
- Easy parent teacher conferences (no parents will come to see me)
- I won't have to go to collaboration (all my teacher friends in Alpine District understand)
- I get to be more independent
- I still get to stay with all of my friends
- I don't have to set up a classroom
- I get to play games all day at work
5 comments:
Bless your heart! I like the idea of you teaching PE. We can still see you and lucky you gets to still see GRAHAM (hehe). Its funny how life never quite ends up how we planned.
Sounds like the best job ever... especially the sweats part!
You'll be such a good PE teacher, and you get mondays off! That works out so well with Ella, good job!
I think it sounds great. Best of both worlds, you still get to work and be with Ella. Teaching PE would be so fun. One pro you didn't write is that you can get in shape too, which is something I am struggling with.
You'll be wonderful at whatever you do. I'm so glad that you found a way to work it out, and I'm so sorry that this has been so hard for you to leave your little love. I'm so glad though that Erin can be there to listen to you and help you feel better. I'm sure it's working both ways. I never thought of you as a PE teacher, but I'm sure all the kids will love you, how could they not?
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