Bittersweet

This is the way my room mom decorated my door for teacher appreciation week.

Friday was the last day of school. Every year I count down the days before summer begins, but when the last day comes it is bittersweet. Although I look forward to having 2 months off, it is sad to say goodbye to another group of students who I've grown to love. This year I not only said goodbye to a class, but also to my first grade position. I cleaned out my room and gave away most of my things. It was really hard to give away the things I've collected, bought, and made over the past 4 years. It was easily over $1,000 worth of supplies and books. I just don't know when I'll be going back to the classroom because I know that I need to be a mom during this season of my life. P.E. will be good, but so different. My heart lies in academics, but physical education is definitely the best position for me next year. The last week of school I had to work full time according to district policy. Ella spent more awake time with Jessica than with me. I hated it and know that I couldn't handle being away from her that much on a regular basis. I think that I will go back to teaching at some point, but I have no idea when. This summer will be really great because Gustavo is working the recovery for his unit. That means he has irregular hours and usually ends up working much less than 40 hours a week and the hours he does work are mostly at night. Our little family will be able to spend lots of time together playing and having fun. It will be so great!

This is an old picture I found while cleaning of my '07-'08 class. I am really going to miss teaching first grade.

no more magic

Everyone knows that a mom is supposed to have the magic touch. Ever since Gustavo watched Ella on Friday he has been the one who can console her best. When I went to pick Ella up after school today she was asleep. I made the mistake of waking her up so we could go home. She was not happy. I tried to bounce her, feed her, and then just love her and talk with her. Nothing worked so Jessica asked if she could try. Of course Ella calmed down right away with her. I have officially lost my magic. I need to regain it. This is just one more reason I'm excited to stay home with my baby for the summer. Only 2 1/2 more days.

end of the year

It seems like the end of the school year should be easy, but really it is full of all sorts of stressful stuff and the kids are crazy...

only 5 1/2 more days.

Experimenting

Ella almost always holds her fingers like this.

Ella is really starting to experiment more. She is a lot more active and we have lots of fun just watching her play. These movies probably aren't interesting to anyone else, but we have watched them multiple times. We really can't get enough of her. I remember when my sister Erin sent us a video of her baby Elena (she is almost 6 now). We just laughed because there wasn't much to see, but you could hear how excited Erin and Chris were about all of the tiny things Elena would do. Now I'm doing the exact same thing!

She loves to play in her bouncy chair. We laugh every time at how much she moves!

Ella always stares at anything that moves including ceiling fans, the tv, and her mobile. We loved how she was moving her mouth. She has started to play with her tongue the last few days. While I was changing her diaper on Saturday she clicked her tongue and gave me an adorable smile and a very proud look. I love this stage!

3 Months

Three months is a magical age. I can't believe how much fun Ella is right now. The colic seems to be over. (YES! No more screaming and crying for hours on end.) She still occasionally has a rough time with gas, but it is nothing like the colic. Ella sleeps in her crib for naps and bedtime. She wakes up a few times at night, but I don't even care. The fact that she isn't in our bed feels so great that I'm not worrying about that at all. She smiles at us lots during the day, but isn't quite ready to share those smiles with the world yet. We still get so surprised when she won't smile much around our friends or family. Oh well, at least she shares them with us! She is starting to like some toys and is entertained by them for up to 30 minutes at a time. Again, INCREDIBLE. I went from never having a minute to myself to getting alone time during naps (30-45 minutes every three hours), after she is down for bed (about 8 o'clock until I go to sleep), and for about 30 minutes after each feeding. It is like a whole new world. Ella is also starting to giggle. So far she has laughed the longest for Jessica, her babysitter. Jessica was really sweet and taped it for us so maybe she'll be willing to let me post it one of these days if we can't record it ourselves. This weekend we tried really hard and she was definitely giggling, but it wasn't quite as long so I couldn't capture it. I grabbed the camera a little too late, but here is the video- we still think it is cute!

Motherhood

Lately I've been reflecting on motherhood. No, I haven't experienced it for long, but I feel like I've experienced a lot. I never could have imagined the spectrum of emotions I have already felt in only 3 short months. The moment I found out I was pregnant I couldn't keep in my tears. I was pregnant! I just stood over the pregnancy test shaking while tears ran down my face. I couldn't wait to tell Gustavo. I wanted to share the most exciting news of our life with him, but he was on a camp out with the young men. That day seemed to last forever. I calculated my due date and maternity leave, got a book from the library, read countless articles online, and bought prenatal vitamins and 2 more pregnancy tests before Gustavo was able to call. From that day on all I could think about was the baby growing inside of me. It was amazing. The throwing up wasn't great, but fortunately medicine eased that. The 9 months of pregnancy seem so far away. They were full of anticipation and excitement. I made countless lists and worried about all kinds of trivial things (like which crib, stroller, swing, car seat etc. would be best). I dreamed about my little Ella all day long. I remember lying in my bed alone one Sunday morning when I was about 22 weeks along. I was feeling the slight kicks and movement of my baby and it hit me that I was a mother. I loved my little daughter even though we had never met. On Tuesday February 10th when I went in to labor I couldn't believe that I was about to have a baby. I stopped worrying about parent teacher conferences, my student teacher, and sub plans. I just thought about my little girl. While I was in labor Ella's heart rate kept dropping. This continued on and off until it was time to push. After the first push her heart rate dropped significantly and I got incredibly scared. All I could do was pray that she would be fine. Three short pushes later I held my beautiful Ella. It almost didn't seem real: she was finally here. I had no idea what a toll labor would take on my body or emotions, but of course it was all worth it. I wanted to hold her all day long and just look at her. I was full of so much love for this beautiful girl. Unfortunately Ella's colic started at about 3 weeks, but fortunately I think it is over. It seems to have gotten better at about 2 1/2 months. Those nights full of screaming were so difficult. I would have done anything to relieve her pain. I tried everything I read about. The only thing that occasionally worked was bouncing her. I would bounce on my exercise ball for at least an hour at a time. Two weeks ago the crying stopped and we had an amazing week. I read a new parenting book and got Ella to sleep in her crib for naps and bedtime (before then she was sleeping in our arms or bed). This happened for just long enough to tease us. At the end of that amazing week I got Ella sick. She woke up Monday night not being able to breath. After feeding her I couldn't put her back in her crib because I was so worried about her. I took her down to her swing and slept (sort of slept) on the couch right by her side. Tuesday morning I couldn't bare to leave her. I called my substitute in a shaky voice as I tried to hold back tears. I got things worked out with the school and just held Ella for the rest of the day. I was miserable listening to her struggle. I wanted so desperately to help her get better. Unfortunately she still has her cold (I've still got it after 3 weeks), but she doesn't seem to be as bothered by it. I love Ella more than I ever could have imagined. It is so incredible to think that I am her mother. I've dreamed about being a mom for as long as I can remember and now I am. Motherhood is a role that affects every aspect of my life. There is nothing more important to me than being a mom. I feel like there is so much for me to learn, but I'm trying my hardest to be what Ella needs. I can't wait for school to end so I can be a full time mom again. I still look at her and almost can't believe that she is really my daughter. It is all so amazing to me.

Rookie Year

Gustavo really tried to pamper me on my first Mother's Day. On Saturday we took his mom out to lunch with Yolanda and Shevin. Afterwards Gustavo had me go with his mom and sister to get a manicure and pedicure. This was the first time I've had either and I must admit it was nice. Sunday was a great day for me, but kind of rough for both Gustavo and Ella. I've had a pretty awful cold for the past week and have been really worried I might give it to Ella. I tried as hard as I could to keep her healthy. Unfortunately, Sunday she was really fussy and we realized she was getting sick. While I tried to keep her happy after church, Gustavo prepared dinner. This was probably the fourth time that he has cooked for me so this was really a sweet gesture. He decided to make steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans. After putting Ella down for a nap I went to the kitchen to see if I could help. I noticed there was water sitting in the sink so I turned on the disposal only to find that the sink was clogged. I immediately realized what happened: Gustavo put all the potato peels down the disposal. I grabbed the plunger hoping that would fix the problem. It didn't. We tried a few things and then finally decided to leave it alone until we could get a hold of his step dad who we knew would be able to help us. Poor Gustavo stressed over the sink the whole evening. He was pretty upset with himself and apologized for his performance on our "Rookie Mother's Day." There was absolutely no need for any apology. It was a wonderful day that ended with Gustavo fixing the sink in about 5 minutes while I put Ella down for bed. Thanks honey!

Ella & Gabe

Last month my sister-in-law Yolanda and I decided that we would babysit for each other one night a month so that we could go on dates with our husbands! They watched Ella 3 weeks ago so Gustavo and I could go out to dinner and we got to take little Gabe for the first time tonight.We enjoyed watching him and will also definitely enjoy our monthly date night!

Here are the kids watching the basketball game. We wanted to take pictures to show how much bigger Gabe is than Ella, but I don't think this really does the size difference justice.
Gustavo was able to get their attention for a minute so you can see their cute faces. Unfortunately we couldn't get them to both smile at the same time because the t.v. was too distracting.

Look at their hands!

This video is terrible quality because we had all the lights off, but it was fun to see them both kicking and talking with us.
Can you believe how much they've grown? This was just 10 weeks ago!

Blessing Day

Ella was blessed by Gustavo today. We were so happy to be surrounded by lots of family and friends. Today ended up being a kind of crazy Sunday for the blessing because our bishopric changed so the chapel was completely full and the testimony meeting was directed by our stake president. Last week our bishop announced this would be happening so we knew there would be LOTS of people. This made Gustavo a little more nervous, but of course he did a wonderful job. The blessing was beautiful despite Ella screaming throughout the entire thing! She was having such a happy morning that I thought she was going to be fine. The second Gustavo laid her in his arms she started screaming. She stopped for a second when he started speaking, but quickly started up again. She usually calms down when she is bounced, but she just hated being held in that position. The second Gustavo ended the blessing and held her close to him she stopped. Gustavo brought her to me and she took her pacifier and went right to sleep. What a princess! She definitely has a strong personality and lets us know exactly how she feels!

After the blessing our friends and family came over to visit and have a light brunch. Ella was pretty content. I couldn't get her to really smile for everyone though.
Ella met lots of new people at the house. This was definitely the most people we've ever crammed in our little town house so it was pretty crazy, but she was even able to nap while we passed her around to my aunts and friends.

When everyone left we decided to take a few more pictures of Ella in her dress and she gave us some big cheesy smiles. She is so adorable!
My older sister Emily made Ella's beautiful dress. Thanks Em!

I had to laugh because right after everyone left, Gustavo laid Ella down on the couch and this was the result! She was so worn out. Thank you everyone who came out to support our little Ella. We love you all and appreciate all you do for us.